


Hearts on Fire

by Likeitmatters



Series: Heart Series [6]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-31 21:24:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17857196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Likeitmatters/pseuds/Likeitmatters
Summary: A rivalry comes to a decisive end as someone learns of Nicole's secret.





	1. Nightmares and Fatherly Advice

**Fall 1910**

 

Nicole watches from outside her body as if she’s floating above it from tree height.She has no recollection of what has happened, just that she’s staring at her body, lying in the grass covered in blood and what appears to be soot.She watches helplessly as Peter and Joshua run to it.Joshua falls to his knees and reaches for her shirt and she yells _‘No!’_ but he can’t hear her.She watches in horror as he rips open her shirt to find the source of the bleeding only to stumble back when he sees her bare breasts, a stark light pale to her otherwise bloody torso.

 

“What on God’s green earth!”She hears Peter exclaim as her vision begins to cloud.She desperately tries to stay present, to witness what will happen, but her vision continues to tunnel and fade as more and more voices join with Peter and Joshua’s.

 

_“He’s… SHE’S an abomination!”_

 

_“Go get the sheriff!”_

 

_“We’ve been deceived!”_

 

_“Drag the wife out here too!She was in on the hoax!”_

 

Nicole wakes with an audible gasp, her hand clutching her chest.She tries to calm her erratic breathing before she wakes Waverly but it’s too late.

 

“Sweetheart?You okay?”She hears asked tenderly as she feels a hand on her biceps.

 

“Yes, just had a nightmare is all.”She says, still trying to even out her breathing.

 

“You’ve been having them a lot lately.”Waverly notes, eyes soft and concerned.

 

“Yeah.”Nicole agrees distractedly.And it’s always the same one.Her being mortally injured and someone finding out her true identity.She scrubs her face as she begins to slip out of bed, eager to erase the vestiges of the dream from her mind.

 

She feels Waverly’s eyes on her as she slips out of her night shirt and begins putting on her wrap, seeing that sunrise isn’t too far away anyway.

 

“Did you remember what this one was about?”Waverly asks tentatively.She’s asked every time and Nicole has lied every time.She reasons it’s different because it’s just in her head.Not reality.Just her paranoia coming out through her subconscious.No need to bother Waverly with something she can’t help fix.

 

She looks into deeply concerned hazel eyes and finds herself unable to lie about it today however.But she’s not yet ready to reveal what’s been eating at her night time thoughts.

 

“I remember some.We’ll talk about it tonight?”She offers gently and Waverly lowers her eyes and Nicole knows she’s not satisfied with that, but will acquiesce.

 

She leans over the bed to capture her lips in a deep kiss and sighs contentedly when Waverly’s hand slips into the hair at the back of her head, holding her against her lips for a few more heartbeats.

 

When Nicole reluctantly pulls away, Waverly’s eyes are shiny and full of emotion.“You exchanging bulls today with Carter, right?Joshua is running them over still?”She asks and sighs in muted relief when Nicole nods.

 

Les Carter has been an unwanted fixture in the Haughts’ lives for ten years and it has been anything but amicable.From the very first months when Waverly and Mimi Wilmert had helped his abused wife and kids flee his home, Carter has been nothing but brusque and contemptuous towards them.He did seem genuinely afraid of Nicolas though, ever since he’d threatened him in the barn after he’d threatened to harm Waverly.

 

It didn’t stop the lone rancher from doing things to make life just a bit hard for the Haughts over the years however, from reconfiguring his dam upstream, choking off water that supplied both the Haught ranch and the Wilmert’s farm.They’d had to go to the Sheriff multiple times to get him to adhere to the water rights agreement and it had nearly come to blows a couple of times when Nicolas was too impatient with the Sheriff’s slow process.It had taken a couple of years to get it corrected and both Nicolas and Paul had lost thousands of dollars in hay and vegetable crops they had no way of recouping.

 

Also during that time, Carter had found out that his German Shepard, Millie had had a litter with Yukon.He’d taken it on himself to trespass after a night of binge drinking to collect his dog and the pups.

 

_Nicolas looks up from the dining room window and sees a flash of something go into the barn.He gets up abruptly and goes to his holster hanging up in the kitchen and grabs his Colt._

 

_“Nic?”Waverly follows in alarm after watching her husband get up._

 

_“Someone just went into the barn.Probably just Joshua or Peter.I’ll be right back.”He says and leaves before she can say anything else._

 

_He trots over to the door and slows, approaching the half open door cautiously.He then hears the pups squealing and a man grunt angrily._

 

_He recognizes the voice immediately and scowls, keeping his gun cocked but lowered as he opens the door._

 

_“What the hell are you doing in my barn, Carter?”He says loudly, startling the man._

 

_He actually hadn’t seen him in a while on account of the Sheriff giving them both strict orders to stay off each other’s property.He looked gaunt and at least 10 years older than what he knew him to be._

 

_“You got my bitch.”He seethes as he starts gathering the pups roughly.“I’m taking her and her litter home.”He continues, slurring his words and swaying slightly._

 

_Nicolas makes sure Carter sees the glint of his Colt before he says his next words, hoping his drunk mind will register his intent.“Your bitch got onto my property and my dog sired those pups.You put them down before I call him in here to rip you to shreds.Or I’ll call for the Sheriff to arrest you for trespassing.Either way, you ain’t leaving with them pups.”_

 

_Nicolas knew from talk in town that Carter had fallen on deeply hard times.He knew it had some, or maybe a lot to do with that rumor he’d begun to keep any potential women far away from him.Even though Waverly had just chalked it up to karma for the cruel, mean man, Nicolas felt a bit guilty, especially because Carter didn’t even know why people just stopped doing business with him in the near vicinity of town.The rumor had been so stretched and added to over the years that it was now so ghastly disturbing, no one brought it up except in hush whispers.But_ **_everyone_ ** _knew._

 

_“I have a right to them.”He says, his drunkenly indignant behavior tempered by Nicolas’ threats and the visibility of his revolver at his side._

 

_“You have a right to the bitch, that’s all I’m letting you leave with.”He says, not wanting to take the chance he’ll let them starve to death or kill them just to spite him and his family.He knows Carter actually needs Millie as she’s a working dog and rightfully his anyway._

 

_“I’m taking the pups too.”He growls, returning to anger and resentment at being told no._

 

_“Did you not hear me, Carter?You know I have every right to shoot you dead right here?”Nicolas says, seeing no choice but to raise his gun and let him know he will not be leaving with the pups.Especially Nugget, his son’s pup.He’s fed up with this man and his mere presence in his and his family’s life._

 

_Finally, the man sighs harshly and drops the pups from his arms unceremoniously and Nicolas holds in a flinch as the pups yelp at the impact._

 

_“Take your bitch and get the fuck off my property.”Nicolas growls._

 

_Carter stares at him, measuring and Nicolas actually feels a tendril of fear at the man’s cold, lifeless eyes.The moment passes though as Carter pulls a length of rope out of his pocket and roughly ties it around Millie’s neck.She whines and then yelps when he jerks it tight and begins to move around Nicolas to the door._

 

_“I’ll pay you a hundred dollars for her.”Nicolas says suddenly._

 

_Carter turns around and sneers.“I’d cook her and eat her in front of your boy before I’d sell her to you for even a thousand.”And with that, he turns and walks out the door leaving Nicolas slightly stunned and nauseous at the callousness of the man._

 

After that, and after Carter had been made to tear down his dam and correct it, he’d laid relatively low.But about a year ago he’d sent his new foreman, Rafael, to ask if they could once again return to exchanging bulls for breeding season. 

 

Nicolas had been inclined to tell him to go to hell, but there was really no one close to exchange bulls with as Wilmert had gone strictly to farming and goats and he knew he was actually in a position to demand more from the exchange.He agreed to it on the condition he get 2 calfs from Carter’s herd come birthing season.Nicolas knew he probably couldn’t really afford that, but he didn’t care.When Nicolas told Paul Wilmert he’d agreed to it almost immediately, the redheaded rancher jokingly referred to it as an ‘asshole tax’ for doing business with the man. _“Asshole tax.I like it.”Paul had laughed._

 

 

Nicolas and Nicky are just finishing branding a couple of new calfs that were born out of season when he sees Joshua coming back with his own bulls. 

 

“Take ‘em back to the heifer pen, Nick.”Nicolas asks his son as he puts down the branding iron and jogs over to Joshua.

 

“What’s going on?”He asks as he approaches his foreman.

 

“Rafael told me the deal is off.When I went to confirm with Carter, he didn’t answer his door.Rafael said he hadn’t seen him after he told him not to round up his bulls yesterday morning.”

 

Nicolas shakes his head in annoyance.“Alright, Joshua.Just take them back I guess.”

 

It wasn’t imperative to get different bulls in right now, so Nicolas just let it go.His herd was big enough to skip a mating season with the same bulls, so he didn’t give it another thought.He was kind of relieved really and decides right then and there that his business with Carter is completely finished.

 

He looks over at Nicky, or Nick, as he likes to be called now that he’s twelve and only half a head shorter than Nicolas.She and Waverly had joked that not only Nic’s red hair, but her height had somehow transferred to the boy.

 

Nicolas remembers laughing at the absurd thought as well as feeling a bit wistful and sad that it was impossible to be true.

 

Nicole has never really wished to be a man.She is pretty certain her perspective as a woman pretending to be a man has been more of a benefit and blessing in the past 12 years and she’s pretty sure she wouldn’t have caught Waverly’s eye had she not had that selflessness and sensitivity she attributes to her femaleness.But the one thing she did regret was not having the ability to have children with Waverly. 

 

That being said, she wouldn’t trade Nicky for anything.He’s a sweet, honest, hardworking boy with his mother’s quick wit and stubbornness and his father’s penchant for putting others before himself and general, overall cleverness.At least that’s what Waverly has told Nicolas when the boy effortlessly sees himself out of trouble on occasion, sounding so much like Nicolas in his defense, Waverly has a hard time not agreeing with him at the end.

 

“Looks like Carter bailed on the bull exchange so you can go swimming if you want to.”Nicolas says as he claps the boy on the shoulder.He squeezes and gets an inquisitive look on his face.“You lifting hay bales at night or something?”He asks with a crooked smile.

 

“No Pa, just natural, God given muscle tone.”He boasts with a grin so much like Waverly’s he has to laugh.

 

“Well, let me let you in on a little secret.”Nicolas says and leans in conspiratorially.“Girls like it when you show more than tell.”

 

“PA!I ain’t like no girls yet!”He bellows defensively.

 

Nicolas stands back, a look of confusion on his face.“Well, what about Mimi’s youngest?Maisy is it?”Nicolas asks, goading the boy with an innocent smile.

 

“We just like to catch frogs together is all.She’s the only girl I know that doesn’t run and scream.. well… like a girl!”Nick reasons, his cheeks tinting pink.

 

“Well, then I’d be sure to treat her right and nice.So you can keep catching frogs with her until you two find something else to do.”Nicolas winks and Nick just continues to blush furiously.

 

“Pa, Ma already gave me the birds and bees talk.”He mumbles as he slips out of boots and socks, wanting to head to the river and away from this embarrassing conversation.

 

“She did huh?You sure you don’t want my input?”Nicolas knows he’s just harassing the boy now, but he can’t help himself.He knew when Waverly had sat him down last summer and talked to him about basic stuff that Nicole admitted she didn’t know a whole lot about since she had only been with Waverly and there were certainly no male body parts involved.It seemed very funny and ironic to Waverly at the time, but when Nicole truly balked at talking to her son about sex as a _man_ , Waverly took pity, but not without pulling Nicole into bed and telling her how she could satisfy any woman a hundred times better than any man, making the redhead puff up with pride and they had quite a time that night with Nicole hellbent on proving her wife correct.

 

Nicolas is still smiling like a fool when his son actually stays quiet for a few seconds, seemingly contemplating Nicolas’ question.

 

“Well, how did you get mom to, you know… like you?As in _like_ you, _like_ you?”

 

Nicolas smiles at the memories that come flooding back as he recalls all the hardships, heartache and true miraculous moments that made up their time in the Klondike.

 

“Well, I didn’t _get_ her to do anything she didn’t want to do, first of all.”Nicolas says, wanting to make that crystal clear to his son.His face softens though and takes on an earnest expression. 

 

“A woman should always have the choice whether to like you or not to like you.To spend time with you or not.But I knew pretty early on that I was in love with your mother and things I did came very easily to me because I wanted to prove to her that I was worthy of her love.It’s a scary thing when you don’t know the heart of the one you’d like to give yours to.So you gotta be patient.I listened to her when she spoke.I tried to show her I’d be there if and when she needed me.I did little things for her without her asking.I respected her as a woman and as a person.”

 

“And then she liked you?Or she loved you?”Nick asks, eyes wide and interested.

 

“Sometimes a person can do all that for another and not have their love returned.Love isn’t a rational thing, you can’t control it really.But you can let it guide you.I did all those things not to get your mom to like me, but to show her, if she was so inclined, that I’d be a good partner to her.”

 

He looks off towards the Wilmert’s residence and gets a look of deep introspection and Nicolas beams with pride as he sees his son has taken in his words with much thought.

 

“Well, I guess if I ever get to that point with someone, I’ll kind of have an idea what to do.”He says thoughtfully.

 

“I know you will, Son.”Nicolas smiles as he watches him take in a long deep breath and let it out and then quickly shuck off his vest, suspenders and shirt and go running to the river, holding up his ratty old work pants, whooping and hollering all the way into the water.


	2. Burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this latest installment kinda got away from me. Here's the middle chapter.

Nicole thinks she might be dreaming again as she slowly comes out of sleep smelling smoke.It becomes more pronounced though as she continues to wake.In just a few seconds though she definitely knows she isn’t dreaming.She bolts upright and then sees a muted glow out the window that overlooks their barn.

 

She shoots out of bed and tears the curtains open.“Oh, Christ.”She mutters, still trying to fully wake.She steps into the pants she’d just taken off hours ago, forgoing her wrap and pulling on her tightest Henley shirt and vest as she starts calling to Waverly.

 

“Waverly, the barn’s on fire.”She says just under a shout and then goes to the bed and shakes her awake.Once her eyes are open and wide, Nicole repeats herself.

 

“Go get Nick.Tell him to go get Joshua.You get the Wilmerts and tell him to bring every bucket they own.”She says as she gets to the door, not even seeing if Waverly even comprehended what she just said.

 

“The barn..”Waverly says groggily and runs over, confirming what she thought she heard Nicole say.“Joshua, the Wilmerts.”She mumbles anxiously, now firing on all cylinders.She tears off her nightgown and pulls on her housedress hanging on the back of the bathroom door and runs to wake up Nicky.

 

…

 

 

Nicolas jumps out of the back door, flying down the stairs and entering the barn on the opposite side of the flames.He starts throwing open the back doors that lead to the paddock so the horses can run out of the barn and makes sure to run into the tack room where the flames were steadily licking up the far wall.He’s relieved to see that the dogs’ sleeping blankets are empty meaning the dogs had gotten out.He goes to grab the buckets he has stacked up in the corner when he hears a cold, low voice over the steadily increasing flames.

 

“I finally found out why I’ve been treated like a goddamn leper in _my_ town.Now I’m gonna burn your life down like you burned mine down.”Nicolas heard the hammer of the gun click over the cracking flames as he slowly turns around, again caught without his gun. 

 

“You should have been hung for what you did to your wife, daughter, unborn child.”Nicolas replies with barely controlled rage at this shitty excuse for a man. 

 

“First I’m gonna shoot you in the gut before the cavalry gets here and then I’m gonna let you bleed out or burn, whatever comes first.I figure we got about ten minutes together, you and I.”Carter lets a thin, ugly smile cross his lips as he raises his gun up at the still rancher.Nicolas begins to panic as his eyes sweep around for anything within arm’s reach he can use to try and defend himself.He spots a shovel that’s half a step to his right.He’s not sure he can get it without getting shot, but perhaps he can catch him off-guard if he can move fast enough.

 

“And in the chaos of trying to drag your carcass out of the barn and put out the fire, I’m gonna grab your wife, have my way with her and leave her out in your paddock.Your son’s gonna be an orphan by the time the sun’s up.”

 

Nicolas’ focus shifts from getting to the shovel to Carter’s words.Something snaps inside him and he lunges for the shovel, gripping it and holding it over his head best he can with his arthritic shoulder, bringing it down with everything he has.He feels the impact of the bullet right before he feels the spade of the shovel catch in bone.

 

Nicolas lurches forward as his hands lose their grasp of the shovel handle when Carter drops like a rock, shovel embedded in his skull.Nicolas gasps for breath as he slumps to his side, watching Carter’s eyes blink once and then go unfocused.They are so close their blood begins to pool and mix. 

 

The pain is otherworldly and he’s reminded of the bear attack.He knows if he moves too much even more blood will be lost.He’s growing weaker and sleepier as he tries to get himself to move out of the barn before it collapses on him.But then his nightmare comes back to him… it seems it was a premonition of some sort and he laughs at that weakly as blood pools and collects in his mouth.

 

His last thought before he passes out is, _Waverly’s safe, Waverly will be safe if I burn up in the barn and they can’t tell.. can’t tell…_

 

_…_

Paul and two of his oldest sons pull up in their wagon, the horses frothing even during the short trek they were running so fast.Paul barely brakes the horses before his boys are hopping out of the back, two buckets each as they race to the river.

 

Nicky is not far behind having roused Joshua and Peter who lived in small houses at the edge of Haught Ranch but didn’t wait for them.He knows his father went into the barn alone and he sees it nearly fully engulfed, but no sight of him. 

 

“Have you seen my Pa?He went in before we sent for you!”Nicky yells over the roaring flames.

 

“No!We just got here!He’s in the barn?!”Paul asks in a panic.Nicky just turns and heads towards it, dread filling his stomach as he makes his way to the door.

 

He gets to his knees and begins to crawl around, feeling around for any sign of his dad.The smoke is so thick he can’t see his hands in front of him but he continues to reach out, searching.

 

He hears other voices now, near him but neither are his father.Finally he feels something, a boot. He blindly reaches up feeling pants and then mercifully his fingers wrap around a belt.He just begins pulling him towards the door, eyes watering as he begins to cough uncontrollably.

 

“I got you, son.”He hears Mr. Wilmert say somewhere above him.Suddenly he’s pulled out, gasping and coughing. 

 

He immediately staggers to the body he’d just pulled out and sees his father covered in soot and blood.

 

“Why’s he bleeding so much?”Paul asks, shocked at Nicolas’ condition.

 

Nicky kneels over him, eyes wide and panicked.He feels someone else kneel next to him and grab at Nicolas’ shirt.

 

“He’s been impaled or something…” Joshua says as he begins to pull up Nicolas’ shirt.

 

“Wait!Go get Ma… Waverly!”He says to Joshua as he puts his hands on Joshua’s stopping his motion.“She’s like a nurse.She’ll know what to do.”Nicky says as he puts pressure on the wound.

 

Joshua looks at him wide eyed but Nicky is steadfast.“Go, quick!”He says desperately.

 

He’s joined by Paul Jr who presses some cloth into Nicky’s hand and he folds it over the wound.Not more than a minute later Waverly’s skidding to a halt and falling to her knees.

 

“What happened?”Why is he bleeding?”She shouts, nearing hysterics at the site of her love with his lower torso covered in blood.

 

“Ma, I don’t know.I pulled him out of the barn like this.”He says as he continues to press the wound.

 

“We have to get him in the house.”She barks out and moves to lift his shoulders. 

 

“Ma, I’ve got him.Get the door.Paul, grab his legs.”Nicky says, taking charge as Waverly just looks up at him.

 

He can read the panic in her eyes and wishes he could put her at ease.But now’s not that time.

 

Waverly scrambles up and runs ahead of them and opens the door.She directs them to the small guest room on the ground floor.

 

They lay him down gently and Waverly stands over him, momentarily frozen.

 

“Ma, I’ll go get your notes from Gus.Where are they?”Nicky asks, knowing his mother had learned a lot from the woman who had helped him come into the world.She’d had to use a lot of her knowledge a few times on both him and his father over the years.

 

“Oh, uh, upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.Bring the big bag down too.”She says, referring to the medical bag Gus had gifted with.

 

Paul Jr. stands over Nicolas as well, waiting to be told what to do.

 

Waverly finally gets a hold of herself and asks him to go fetch Wynonna, praying she’s still in town.

 

The second he’s gone, she peels away Nicolas’ shirt and wipes at the blood.There’s so much… she mumbles through tears.Finally she sees a small hole and her brows furrow in confusion.

 

Suddenly, she feels a hand grasp her wrist and she looks up at Nicolas who is pale and eyes wide and frightened. 

 

“No..shirt…” He stutters weakly.

 

“Honey, it’s me.What happened?”She asks, moving to his head and stroking his hair as she keeps pressure on his wound.

 

“Carter…. Shot…. Me…. He’s..dead in… barn.”Is all he can get out before passing out again.

 

In that moment Nicky appears with the bag and notes.She turns and realizes she needs another hand, but that means…

 

“What can I do?”Nicky asks as he sets down the bag and opens it for his mother.“Ma?”He asks as she continues to stare at him.

 

“It’s okay Ma.I know.”

 

…

 

 

Paul and Joshua and the others manage to get the flames out as Mimi and the younger ones round up the horses and track down the scared dogs. 

 

“All the animals are accounted for.”Mimi tells her husband as she approaches him, but she stops when she sees him staring at something in the burnt out rubble of the half of the barn that burnt.

 

She follows his gaze and gasps as her hand goes to her mouth.

 

Paul walks over the still smoldering wood and squats down at the charred remains.

 

“Who could it be?”She asks, horrified. 

 

He pulls his handkerchief off his face and reaches down and picks up something from near the body.He stands and brings it out and lays it on the back of his wagon.Taking the handkerchief he wipes at the soot.The item is still hot to the touch, but as the soot is removed, he can see the pearl inlay grip clearly now.Paul’s face contorts with rage.He pops open the chamber to see one bullet spent.

 

“That there’s Carter’s gun.I think he must have started that fire and shot Nicolas when he came out to put it out.Fucking bastard.”

 

“Oh god.”Mimi says and heads into the house where they took Nicolas.

 

…

 

Waverly has a thousand questions for her son, but right now none of that matters.She takes a deep breath and spurs into action, directing her son to help turn Nicolas over gently to see if there is an exit wound.Mercifully, there is and she notes the hole is close enough to the torso perimeter that is almost certainly missed vital organs.Now she knows it’s a matter of disinfecting the wound and stitching it up to prevent anymore blood loss. 

 

They set to work and with a deep, nervous breath, Waverly undresses Nicolas from the waist up so they can work unfettered.She quickly covers Nicole’s breasts with a sheet though as Nicky runs to wash his hands and put some water on to boil and she quickly douses her hands in copious amounts of rubbing alcohol to sterilize them, not wanting to take time to go wash up in the sink.

 

Nicky’s just starting to fill the pot when he sees Mimi dash in and head to the bedroom.

 

He quickly gets in front of her and asks if she could boil some water.She stops, torn between relaying the news to Waverly, but then nods dutifully and goes back to the kitchen as he quickly washes his hands and returns to the room and shuts the door, giving his mother a look of relief.

 

“Thank you.”She says with grateful smile that falls immediately when she looks back down to Nicolas’ wound.“Les Carter shot him.That’s what this is… a gunshot wound.”She tells her son.

 

He looks at her shocked. 

 

“He says he killed him.”She adds as she points to some gauze.The boy puts away his shock and dismay and focuses on helping his mother save his father.

 

 

They work together silently, keeping everyone on the other side of the door, including Mimi, until they have the wound cleaned and sutured.

 

Nicky runs up to his parents’ room and gets his father some clean clothes and noticing the tight wrap, grabs that too and hides it within his shirt.

 

He comes down and sees the Wilmerts, Joshua and Peter all milling about the porch, waiting word.He peeks his head out and to his utter relief sees Paul Jr and Wynonna riding up the drive.

 

He quickly enters the downstairs guest room and sees his mother, tearful but stoic, sitting on the edge of the bed holding his father’s hand and stroking his brow.

 

He shuts the door quietly behind him as his mother looks up.He can see words caught in her throat as she continues to stare at him.Her eyes are tired, scared, apprehensive and his heart breaks for her, because no matter the circumstances they are all in right now, what has been finally revealed, he knows without a shadow of a doubt, his parents love him, and each other, deeply. 

 

Suddenly, he finds himself telling his mother the story.Something he’s been holding in and wrestling with for nearly three years.“I was 10 when I found out.I had been in my room reading and I don’t think Pa knew I was in the house.I had gotten thirsty and so I had gotten up to go downstairs.When I passed by your room, the door was open and I saw…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, he just looked down at her breasts.

 

His mother’s eyes widened and he could see her swallow a lump in her throat and then she licks her lips.“Did you.. did you tell anyone?”She asks in a bare whisper.

 

His smile is tinted with a bit of sadness at the question as it really dawns on him just how much this huge secret must cost them.The worry and fear.He may only be just shy of 13, but he knows that this secret, if revealed, would destroy his family.He knew it then, he certainly knows it now.

 

“No, Ma.I never breathed a word.”He says gently.Her eyes close in utter relief and the boy feels a mix of pride in knowing instinctually he made the right choice, but at the same time, stung that they’d kept this from him.And that his mother’s first concern was if he’d told anyone, not how he felt about learning this life altering secret. 

 

“We weren’t gonna tell you.We’d made the decision to keep that burden off of you.”Waverly says, her eyes falling back to Nicolas’ face.“He… she didn’t want that for you, to have to keep such a secret.”She says quietly.

 

“When I saw.. what I saw, I was so confused, then I became angry.I almost brought it up, a couple of times.I have so many questions, Ma.”The boy says in a mere whisper.

 

“Let me get him dressed and I’ll answer them all, okay?”Waverly says, her eyes pained, scared.

 

“Okay.” He says with a small nod.

 

“Can you go out and tell everyone we've got him stable now?And thank them?”Waverly asks her son.

 

“Of course Ma.”He replies.As he reaches the door she calls to him again.

 

"Nicky... I.. just.. thank you."  She says quietly and Nick knows she's not talking about his help with the neighbors.  He's never seen his mother so unsure, almost timid.  It unsettles him as much as it appears to unsettle her.

He gives her a small smile, unsure what to say, and closes the door quietly.


	3. Count on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got your tissues? Nice, quiet place to read? :)
> 
> Edited a bit at 6:46 PST

She listens for the door to click and then finally lets herself fall apart, if only for a few moments.Her head falls to Nicole’s shoulder and she sobs openly.

 

“Too close…. Too close…” She stutters in between big breaths as everything comes crashing into her mind: The barn, Carter lying in wait and shooting her beloved, the close call of Nicole being discovered… and finally the revelation about Nicky knowing the secret…

 

She allows herself another few seconds before she dries her face with her sleeve and begins to fully remove Nicole’s tattered, bloody, soot covered shirt and pants.It’s hard as she’s still unconscious, but she manages without upsetting the wound too much. 

 

When she’s done, she looks for signs of too much blood loss, trying to determine if she has to attempt transfusion, something Gus had talked to her about in theory, but she’d never thought she’d have to put into practice. 

 

She digs Nicole’s pocket watch out of her pants, relieved to find it in tact and places it next to her on the bed and takes her pulse.She sighs in deep relief as she takes it a second time to make sure, finding it within normal range.She puts the stethoscope against her chest to listen to her lungs and they sound clear, a miracle with how long she must have been in the burning barn.She whimpers in relief at that and leans to place a kiss on her forehead that is warm if a bit clammy.“I’m gonna get you dressed now.”She says in a whisper and she sucks in a breath of surprise and elation when Nicole groans out a weak but clear, ‘ _Okay.’_

 

Just then there’s a knock at the door and Waverly looks up to see the door crack open and then Wynonna’s worried blue eyes.“Nick filled me in a bit.Jesus, Waverly.”She breathes out when she sees Nicole lying there, pale and lifeless with a big bandage on her side.

 

“Help me dress her?They’re going to want to see him.”She says with a tired sigh.

 

“Of course.”Wynonna says quietly and she jumps right in, helping to pull on Nicolas’ pants.Waverly looks thoughtfully at the wrap that Nicky had grabbed and stuffs it back in the medical bag, opting for a looser bandage wrap to hide her breasts. 

 

She bites her lip in concentration as Wynonna elevates Nicole a bit so she can wrap her properly.Nicole wakes slightly, groans and opens her eyes.“Wynonna?”

 

“Hey there, Haught.Got yourself in a bit of trouble again?”She says with gentle humor as she holds her steady.Nicole tries to give her a smile, but it turns into a grimace as her brows furrow and she slips back out of consciousness as Wynonna looks on worriedly.

 

They finish dressing her and both wordlessly sit down on either side of the bed and just let out a long, pained sigh simultaneously.

 

“I’m glad you’re here.”Waverly says emotionally as Wynonna reaches across her injured in-law’s legs and squeezes her sister’s shoulder.

 

 

 

Waverly checks to see that Nicole is back to sleeping soundly before letting Paul, Mimi and Joshua in to see for themselves that Nicolas is going to be okay.She owed them that after what they did for them in saving what they could of the barn, rounding up their animals and waiting around in worry.

 

She talks with Paul about what he found in the barn and she tells him what Nicolas told her.They both agree to call in the Sheriff first thing in the morning as they all go back home for a few hours of sleep after Joshua covers Carter’s body with a blanket for the time being saying the bastard’s lucky to get even that much.

 

Finally, with the house cleared out, Nick goes to fetch the dogs, bringing them into his father’s office with some old blankets for them to sleep on.It takes some coaxing as they’ve never been in the house, but Waverly hates to think of the poor, scared animals outside all alone.

 

They all convene in the small guest room, sitting around Nicole, keeping vigil as she sleeps.Waverly sits on the edge of the bed, holding her hand while Nick takes up on the blanket chest at the foot of the bed and Wynonna pulls in a dining room chair.

 

They sit quietly, each in their own heads for a few moments before Wynonna asks for the whole story.

 

Waverly and Nick piece it together best they can as Wynonna listens, interjecting commentary about Carter as they fill her in.

 

They fall silent again and it is Nicky this time that breaks the silence.

 

“When did _you_ find out my Pa was a woman?”He asks, looking straight at his aunt.Her eyes go wide in shock as she looks at Waverly who gives her a small, affirming smile.

 

She continues to look at Waverly for guidance, completely gobsmacked.

 

“Before I did.She found her journal and read it without permission.”Waverly answers honestly and Wynonna scowls.

 

The boy ducks his head and looks down at his hands.These questions have stewed in him for years now and he’s finally ready to hear the answers, he thinks.

 

“Where’s my.. real.. father?”He asks, and he finds it pains him to say the word _real_.Even in his darkest moment of confusion and hurt and anger when he got the shock of his life as he looked into his parents’ room that day, he’d still thought of him.. _her_ … as his father, even though he knew, biologically, it was impossible. 

 

He’d come so close to asking when his mother sat him down and gave him ‘the talk’ last summer, but he’d been too scared to reveal what he knew.

 

“He died before you were born.He drowned on the Yukon.”Waverly answers, eyes sympathetic as she watches her son closely as he takes in the news.

 

“Was he a good man?”He asks quietly.

 

He sees Waverly’s eyes dart to Wynonna’s as if to ask _‘do I tell him the truth?’_ It’s all the answer he needs to put something he’s struggled with since finding out his father wasn’t really his blood.In that simple yet profound look he watched his mother gives his aunt, his second most burning question had been answered.He’s almost ashamed at his relief, but honestly, he can’t imagine another man better than the father he has right now.It’s what kept him from running away, from hating them because they lied, from going off in search of his actual, blood relation. 

 

It took him a while to get over the shock and anger at being deceived, but once he started to really pay attention and see how deep his parents’ love went for him and each other, the how and why became less and less important.And as time went on he had longer stretches of days where he simply forgot what he saw, or even questioned if he saw it in the first place. 

 

Until today of course, when that knowledge came into play and he just knew he had to stop Joshua from ripping his father’s shirt open to see where he was bleeding from, exposing his secret literally.

 

He’s quiet for a long time and Waverly moves down to the end of the bed and takes his hand.

 

“Do you want to hear the whole story, Nicolas?”She asks, making sure to use his full name, knowing it would carry significance as he heard the full account.She supposes this is something they should both share with him, but Nicole is incapacitated and they hadn’t even thought they’d have to tell this part to their son.

 

“I would, if you don't mind telling it, Ma.”He answers quietly as he looks up at her with a tremulous smile.

 

She and Nicolas had told him their story of the Klondike.  He'd always loved hearing about their adventures and how he came into the world, but now he would get the unabridged version.  Waverly hopes she can get it right and convey to her son just how special his father really is.

 

…

 

 

Nicole slowly wakes and realizes she’s not in her bed.It takes her a moment to recognize their downstairs bedroom.She gasps as she moves to sit up and her hand goes to her side as she reels at the pain.She swallows and her throat is raw and sore and all the details of last night.. _was it last night?_ come back to her.

 

She lies back, her mind racing to remember what happened after she was shot and bleeding out as she watched Carter die in her burning barn.But someone obviously pulled her out… and tended to her wound… _What if_ … _Where’s_ _Waverly?_

 

 

She shouts for her, but it comes out raw and raspy.It’s loud enough to wake Nicky though and he bolts up from his makeshift bed of blankets on the ground and he goes to his father’s side.

 

“Where’s your Ma?”She gets out hoarsely the same moment she feels her chest and realizing her breasts are unbound and her worst fear is realized. _They’ve arrested Waverly.I’ve been found out!_ Nick watches as her eyes go from panic to full-blown hysteria.“Where’s Waverly!”She cries, trying to rise and push past her son as she holds her chest.

 

“Pa!Stop!”Nick exclaims, scared she’s gonna hurt herself.“She’s okay!She’s with Aunt Wynonna!All is fine.No one knows.No one found out.”He places his hands on her shoulders and guides her down, watching as her eyes go from hysteria to confusion to startling realization.

 

“Nicky?”She pushes out through her raw throat as her eyes fill with fearful tears.“You.. know?”She utters in a shatteringly petrified whisper.

 

“Shh.It’s okay, Pa.We’re all okay.”The boy says as he gently wraps his arm around her mid-section above the bandage and rests his head above her heart as words fail him.He has questions for her too, but right now he just wants to comfort and reassure her.

 

Nicole’s head is swimming as her heart thunders in her chest.She barely register’s Nick’s earlier words, but when he lays his head down on her chest, she relaxes and brings her arms up around his shoulders. _He knows_ … keeps rattling around in her mind as her heart begins to slow and her arms tighten their hold on her son. _But he’s okay.We’re all okay._

 

_…_

 

 

Once Nicolas could stay awake for more than a few minutes later that next day, he tells the Sheriff everything that happened the night before and with a few more supporting statements from Rafael, the whole incident is considered concluded with no crimes committed except by the deceased.

 

With permission, Nick accompanies Rafael back to Carter’s property to find Millie.She is skinny and dirty, but otherwise okay. 

 

 

After a week, Nicolas is able to sit up for longer periods of time and Waverly helps him out to one of the cushioned back porch chairs so he can supervise the demolition of the damaged part of the barn.

 

"You okay?" Waverly asks, looking closely at Nicolas.  They hadn't talked a whole lot as Waverly had wanted Nicolas to concentrate on healing.

 

"I'm glad Carter's gone.  That man was a thorn in our side for a decade."  Nicolas admits.  He never thought he'd have to take a life, but if there was one that needed to be removed from this earth, it was that monster.

 

"And Nicky?"  Waverly asks tentatively, never being able to use the boy's preferred 'Nick' now.  It meant he was growing up and she wasn't ready for that, despite the last week of revelations.

 

"I guess we don't have to worry about him finding out anymore."  He chuckles with a shake of his head.  Both Wynonna and Waverly had filled him in on how he'd admitted he'd known and that he stopped Joshua from exposing his secret.  It had shaken Nicolas to the core and he was anxious and fearful at the conversation they were going to need to have soon.

 

Waverly reaches over and squeezes his arm, sensing his fear.  "He loves you, Nicolas."  She says simply as she leans in and kisses the side of his mouth tenderly.

 

Besides being a good partner and husband to Waverly, being a good father to Nicky has always been Nicolas’ biggest source of pride and accomplishment.When he’d finally been able to wrap his head around the fact that his son now knew the truth, he’d been absolutely petrified he’d see him differently, or worse yet, not see him as the father he’d always been. 

 

So when Nick pulls up a chair after all had gone home from helping demo the damaged parts of the barn and starts off the conversation by telling him he’s actually known for years, Nicolas is absolutely shocked.

 

“Why didn’t you say something?Ask questions then?”Nicolas inquires, still shook by this revelation. 

 

“I think I was kind of in shock at first.I was ten, you know… I wasn’t sure what questions to even ask, I guess.”He answers, thinking back.

 

“But, you knew I was a woman, and still you carried on.. carry on…” Nicolas says, shaking his head slowly.

 

“I was angry and confused for a time.But then I remember when you and Ma sat me down and talked to me about George and Emmett, how they were special and their relationship was special but not everyone thought so.I just figured that was how you and Ma were too, except you hid it by… you know.”He says, gesturing to his outward appearance with a small smile.

 

“How’d you get so smart?”Nicolas asks, eyes beginning to get a bit misty.

 

The boy shrugs humbly but gets a sly smile.“I am pretty smart, huh?”

 

Nicolas laughs until his wound reminds him not to and he holds his side as his son, looks on concerned.“I’m okay.”He wheezes, trying to get his breathing back under control. 

 

There’s a few moments of silence as they look out over the partially torn down barn and then Nick speaks.

“Does it feel, I don’t know.. weird.. knowing that I know?”He asks, eyes open and curious.

 

“It does.”Nicolas admits as he studies the boy, a little surprised at the question.

 

Nick already pretty much got an answer from his mother in a round about way about his blood father (and a **very** honest one from his aunt when the two were stacking wood together a few days ago), but he wanted to hear from his Pa.

 

“Would Champ have been a good father?”He asks, not able to even bring himself to name the man as such in front of his Pa.

 

Nicolas looks at the boy for a long moment and Nick can see, like Ma, he’s gauging whether to speak the truth or not.

 

“Honestly, I don’t know, Nick.”He answers and the boy narrows his eyes suspiciously.

 

“Parenthood can change people.”His father reasons quickly, picking up on the boy’s skepticism.

 

“Did it change _you_?”He asks.

 

“It sure did.When your mother decided I would be a good partner and a good parent, I was over the moon, but scared too.Especially with my unique situation.I always wanted to make my own choices and enjoy independence and I felt I couldn’t do that living as a woman. Around that same time, I realized that I felt for women the way a man feels for a woman.I knew both of those things meant sacrificing certain parts of my life, like a family."  Nicolas says, thinking back wistfully. 

 

"But then your mother came along.And then you.I had no idea my life could be so full.But it was a lot at first.Going from thinking I’d be alone my whole life to instantly being responsible for two other lives.I had a lot to learn, and I’m sure you’ve heard that from Ma.”He smiles ruefully. “But I’m thankful every day I get to spend with you and your mother.I’m grateful every moment I get to love and provide for you both and I’m so blessed that you two do the same for me.And I’m also very aware it can all be taken away in an instant if my secret is ever found out.”Nicolas replies candidly and looks at his son to see if he answered him well enough.

 

“Well, now that you know _I_ know about you Pa, you can count on me to protect you.To protect us all from that ever happening.”The boy responds sagely.

 

Nicolas’ heart swells to twice its size as he stares at the boy and then pulls him over into his chest, kissing the top of his head, overcome with emotion as he thinks back to his nightmare premonitions and how the one thing he didn’t know he could count on was his son.“You already did, son… You already did.”

 

 

Waverly, who has been somewhat guiltily leaning on the open back door frame for the duration, slowly steps back into the house as she pulls up her apron to wipe her eyes.She’s also overcome, awed at her beautiful, brave son’s heart and words to his father and at his capacity for understanding things well beyond his years. 

 

She always knew he was something special and these latest events and revelations have her feeling so proud and honored to be his mother.And she couldn’t imagine someone more worthy for her son to call father.

 


End file.
